Are You Happy With your Friends?

 Toxic Friends

Are you hanging with healthy friends?

graphic by rformoso

I am pretty sure, everyone has been a victim of fake friends (often times or once in his lifetime). These are friends whom you actually see a future of surreal friendship but you realized you are such an idiot of not seeing the obvious signs that you were dancing with the Devil! These are friends you call ‘Plastic’, or infamously known as ‘Tupperware’ or if friends of cheap level we call them ‘Orocan’.  I will give you tips I learned from my past and recent disappointments with detecting, ‘unworthy friends’.

Here are the types of friends you should avoid and spend least amount with:

9 - People Pleaser  (updated as of March 1, 2012)

That’s me also! Meeting a new person makes me a superb Ms. Congeniality. I want to make sure I made the best impression ever. I trust easily and way so transparent. I effortlessly make myself available and I open myself too soon than usual. Which at the end - all the things I said (in good faith) are all taken against me seriously and judgementally

 
8 – Kamikaze 

 These are you so-called friends who are deliberately unconscious about other people’s feelings. They are not aware of their own clutter and mistakes. They have no regard with rules and regulations as long as they get through it. He literally does not care about anything and anybody as long as he believes in his on crooked point of view. These persons are overconfident in thinking themselves as friend of everybody when in fact they have really no true friends at all. He is a free-lancer friend; you can’t really rely in helping you out but trusts everyone else would do him a favour.

7. Close Minded

 

These are friends who are negatively close-minded with corrections, suggestions, new ideas and comments. They are deprived with proper intellect and capacity to think the correct argument which what you points out. They are often are unaware of having hearing problems, confusions and delusions.

6– Bossy Nosy 

They are usually well-off but not necessarily rich. They tend to often times treat you out and give you stuff. But beware, when she needed a favour from you, she have major in history and are of good mathematical skills, though she wouldn’t directly remind you of the good things she gave you and nice stuff you enjoy from her;  you tend you bear with her annoying unreasonable snubbing, indirect slavery, and often times bad talk from her.  Hello! You are now, her official nanny! You will notice that she now starts to ask you favour to reach for an object that’s near her or ask you to fetch something along your way even it is too hard for you to. This set up is nice if you too can count on her but nope, she may tend to get bothering reaction if you ask her same favours she asks you.

5 – Ego-centric

These are control freak, only knows me, my, and I, irritatingly inconsiderate, and self gratifying person. These are persons that are not conscious if you needed quiet or fun time if you stress or celebrating for your achievement. They always divert every moment in her life. And another red flag you are friends with an egocentric is that your life is now a formula of ‘Your personal life’ + ’ your family’ + ‘HER LIFE’  = ‘You’. You now constantly know what happened to her life’s update. Conversation often ends up with her as the last sentence.

4– Savings Drainer

She is either rich, trying to be rich or just plain financially challenged person.

A friend from a well off family would generally enjoy classy and expensive things as well as expensive pleasures. If you are not as rich as your friend, you may end up spending more than what you earn and more than your allowance. But if your well-to-do friend is generous enough to let you ride in and pay for all your expenses, you may probably hit the jackpot! But remember, this will not always be the case. Even she pays for your drinks all the time, your taxi ride when you have to meet her and clothes you wear when you go out are all not included in her regular treat. 

Another savings drainer is a social climber (those ‘gimickera’ and ‘ambisosya’) friend who has passion for exclusive parties and elegant things which she can’t afford more than she has. But regardless of financial scarcities, they all find means in getting through the affluent crowd (whether they sell their stuff, take multiple jobs or even risk in taking loans). If you are friends with her, most likely you too will be tempted to do the same. Their motto is “Live life to the fullest” or “Pamper yourself”, even you can’t afford it. 

 Last savings drainer is those you are always financially troubled person. You are enslaved with her personal dilemma in finances and she must have borrowed from you. They often ask for your help and seldom pay you on time or she never pays you at all. The more you help her out, the more she became dependent on your generosity and concern. You might realize one day, you were able to lend her much more than you expected. It’s a good deed to help but make sure you will not be drowning to her reliance on you. Because of her constant money difficulties, you also now are experiencing personal financial mess. Remember, you can help yourself by helping her to be independent and helping yourself first. That is why in airplane safety measures, it is advised that all passengers with dependent individual with them (babies, kids and sick persons) should wear their masks first before putting the baby’s mask

3 – Good Citizen

Be careful of these friends who can never be trusted. They are low self-esteemed gossipers. They are not the brave and good nation heroes but they are those whose sole purpose to live, is be to be a whistle blower. They thought they gain trust and confidence to their friends by squealing every word you say. A good friend doesn’t need to be told that what you are sharing is a secret, if she is wise enough, she should know. She is never aware and concern whether by dropping what supposed to be a sensitive topic or comment, may cause disagreement or misdemeanour. You can spot this type of friend if she always have important stories and news from your common friend, and you always are aware what your other friends tells and think about you because she report to you all the time. She probably must have told them what you two are talking about them too. So, don’t be misguided and tricked by her.

2 – Negavibes

Businessman dislikes these people because they often start a fuss between the employees and management or worst, the misunderstanding will reach to an uprising. In finding a buddy, it is always best to hang out with persons who are lively happy and always see the goodness in life. You wouldn’t want to start your day joyful and end your day with rant because you were bombarded with problems, grievances and complaints to which you have no way and no authority of solving it. Making friends with this person will eat your happy heart out and dry it with torment of negativity.

1 – Back-biters

Opra Winfrey warns us from people who are backstabbers. If your friend bad mouths another person, Opra said, she’ll probably had bad mouthed you from other persons. So, it’s wise to never talk to these persons or never be friends with them at all. Back biters are absolutely judgemental (mostly negative judge arise from their mouth all the time), they are more like a back biter who analyzes everything you say and find mistakes with what you say and do, including your decisions. Their words are hurtful and the way they look at you from behind is like a stubbing samurai.

So there you go; the types of friends you should avoid. 

Friendship is like a marrying someone, you should find someone you are compatible with. If you and your ex-friend whom you invested so much time and trust did not click with each other, keep a keen eye to your next expected future best friend. Check if they can do you good or just stressed you out. It pays well if you hang around with which people you are truly safe with.

Have you spotted one or more of these people? 

Have a nice friend hunting!

Author’s words:

Negavibes – persons full of complaints and grievances; persons who foresee things in negative result

Unworthy friends – they are ungrateful and untrustworthy friends

I am a dog Lover

The Dogs in my Life

Raph & cousin Tala on Jackpot's 2nd Chritsmas with us

I am a dog lover. In fact, I still remember the names of all the dogs I had. My first dog was pure a golden retriever whom I truly adore for 13 years before resting in peace is Bar. He was brought home by my aunt whom amazingly is a well behave pet and never nibbled a slipper or a shoe. After Bar, my aunt gave me another dog which is a breed of an authentic Askal (A common term for breed of Philippine dog which are of medium size, and has thin fur and are only usually in colours white, brown, black or a misture f the 3 colours). We named him Ram, in honour of Gringo Honasan’s movement.  I had no choice but to call the dog Ram because my uncle has high respect with the former military officer. Before Ram died, someone in our neighbour gave me a dog and I finally had the chance to name him. Since I was so frantic with the Rambo movie that time, of course I named him after the famous movie character. Then when I lived with my parents at Bulacan, my mama’s dog gave birth with 3 dogs and I totally asked for the most furry and adorable puppy. I then named him Alovera (used to be a famous shampoo brand), since her mom’s name is Shampoo and all the rest of Alovera’s siblings are also named from other shampoo brands, Palmolive and Sunsilk. I took a very long time before I had had another dog.

Then before I got pregnant, my hubbyness and I found a big-eyed, bald, stout and fat dog following us around. We looked for her owner for 2 days and even reported it to the nearest police stations around the place we found her. After few days, the dog’s fur grew longer than we expected and we finally realize it was a Shitzu breed then we decided to assumed ownership of her and started calling her Jackpot. Long before our son (Raph) came, we actually had a baby. We all gave her all the doggie stuff she needed: expensive shampoos and bath needs, dog food and supplements, pet vaccines and other dog vitamin boosters, and (oh boy can you believe it?!) cutie little clothes. Jackpot was a charm. She has been our dog for about 3 years but we lost her (or I really suspected someone stole her when we took a summer vacation at Manila). We did paired her to few shitzu breed dogs but all did not succeed in laying her down (hahaha, so way picky, she rather hang out with larger dogs whom all were too desperate to reach what should be reached hehehe). I actually grieved when Jackpot left us (maybe she wandered around new eligible pet owner, sob, sob). God, I missed Jackpot. I remember her bark every time she needs a pee or poop outside or her crazy censored act every time she feels so hot (lol. Creepy but missed).

After Jackpot, our former Pension house owner (which we rented for few months) gave a little Japanese Pitch puppy. The pension house caretaker insists in naming her Joross (after a newly rising Star circle Quest contestant’s name. But the real Joross was a guy, right?). Since the dog is a female, we name her Ruthie (after the name of my fave little smart kid at 7^th Heaven’s reruns).  Okay, I decide the name of our 2 dogs but my hubbyness thought for the name of our son’s very tedious name Imagine, our son has to take a board exam and he has to write on his given name: Raph Marcus Venicio. And that is only the first name; he has to write my maiden name and my hubby’s family name! Whew! Talking about tediousness in writing ones name. Since we move often, and now, we aren’t allowed to have pets on our apartment (but I wonder why our compound is filled with different pets?!) ‘till now, Ruthie stays with my in laws’ house together with 5 other dogs (oh, I think there are only 3 dogs which includes Ruthie in that count; the rest were either given away or had been dead for old age reasons). We wished Ruthie can bear more high quality Japanese pitch puppies(even the only possible breed link is a full-blooded askal); Ruthie still hasn’t bore one at her 5^th year of existence (beauty queen lang na statement eh hehehe). I guess good breeds are hard to produce (hehehe).

If God willing, we are able to own a place of our own, I would love to have another dog like Jackpot. Or perhaps like Douglas (the famous humongous dog at Baguio City) who can keep us company when our dearest son decides to study on far universities from home (though that time will be a decade or more from now, who knows).  After all, we can’t have a new one now; I have now paranoia about unexpected pet attack (might share you next time why I now fear dogs, not that I watch too much animal attack documentaries on cable. But the idea is freaking me out a bit).

Dogs are such fun company and never complains (if ever they did complain, they never bug so much you as man do). Truly dogs are man’s best friend. For now, we settled for a gold fish named Fishy (because Raph has asthma and a fish won’t cause any allergy). But sadly Fishy died last week; I’ll just buy new fish tomorrow, maybe a janitor fish or a fighting fish this time and name it... Guido – one of the character on Raph’s fave movie The Cars.