By the time Mac and I found out that I am pregnant, everything became different. Everything from nice became nicer, more beautiful and lovelier. It seems all things around us became perfect.
But not for a while…
Being pregnant, feels so different. The other sides of those/these nice things we are enjoying are covered with fears, anxiety, low-self esteem, and doubts. I am glad my husband never left my side and has enormous patience and understanding toward my pregnancy panics and negativity. Though some books suggest, depressions and weirdness of attitude and emotions during pregnancy are just psychological – meaning a state of mind or in layman’s term pure unexplained feelings without basis! I am totally skeptic about it at times. It is just a feeling that (I think, if not probably not sure I just felt it naturally) is something unusual but is really filling me out normally. I won’t contest to full effort of research and study of world-renowned doctors, psychologists, and every person who has gained their PhDs through the years. But, I won’t accept that the rest of the pregnant women and me are insane. I think we became too much emotional on things and very sensitive because something is growing inside us. A lot of things are changing physically, perhaps all those insecurities and other emotional stuff we feel are normal! Now that my tummy is big enough, I now cannot wear the dresses I used to wear. I now have bloated feet at the end of the day. I now always had cramps in the morning, where I could not move my lower extremities. Mac has to massage my feet for 5 to 15 minutes. He has to wake up from his deep sleep just to do it. He also has to suffer things with me; he has to always walk with me every time I need to have my regular exercise (though I know he’s already tired from work, he has to). I also now suffer from sudden lost of appetite for the first three months, and then I became so voracious (everyone who new me knows I am really a heavy either even I was not yet pregnant but I think I have a larger stomach now). And almost all stuff became limited. Especially with foods, there are a lot of food and drinks that I loved so much that I have to give up during this stage: Coke (yes, the soda must be in that brand!), black forest cake, chocolate cakes and candies, any recipe of mongo (whether with an “ampalaya” leaves or sweetened pande-mongo), and ice cream! And I am always reminded to eat in small amount (In short, diet!) or replace my rice and other carbo-intake with friuits and lots of vegetable! I have to drink and eat stuff, which I hated to eat before: vegetables like “ampalaya”, “malunggay leaves”, and a lot more. I also have to drink Anmum (a pregnancy milk supplement) at least two times a day, which tastes oddly different. And do not forget the 2 to 3 vitamins and food supplement tablets I should take everyday. I cannot leave the house without a chaperon (as if I am sick and imbecile). And for my husband he too is affected, he should always send me to work and pick me up everyday. I could not travel as far as I wanted to, because they will always remind me that the baby will have the possibility of having a cleft palette (hello, cleft palette is hereditary!) or I may give birth in no time. And worst, I am not allowed to criticize or just give a negative opinion on someone because our baby may turn out to be like the person I criticize, huh!?
Well looking at the other side or the bright side of being pregnant is not always a burden. Forget the fact that we feel always insecure (self-confessed), not feeling well, tired, and a hundred more bad feelings a preggy woman feels. Being pregnant? Well, if you are in a very long line in a grocery store, people tend to be kinder and have their place in line given to you. Instead of waiting for my turn for 30 minutes, ala! I already had my groceries be punched in 5 minutes. Same way is also happening with lines in banks, canteen and other places where you have to fall in line first before getting served. Plus do not forget that preggy women always got the freebies, discounts and additional items when we buy (based on my experience, salesmen and salesladies always give in to my request to either give me a discount or a “paaman” on the items I bought). And when I am walking carrying with either heavy or very little load with me? Someone will be always there to the rescue to carry my stuff for me. I also loe\ved it when during lunchtime or “merienda”, there would really be someone who is always generous to share their food with me. I am always treated out for food. Oh, those sumptuous foods! If you are not pregnant, these things will just seldom happen to you, unless you are very cute, and very pretty.
It is also a good thing to be pregnant because, you will be seeing your husband do everything you wished him to do. They became sweeter (though my hubby is very sweet with me even before we were married), full of patience and very enduring. It’s a nice feeling that while you are experiencing all the negativity about being pregnant; someone who’s dearly with you is just right beside you enduring the same sacrifices and hardships.
Two to Three weeks to go before our baby comes out and all my burden of carrying this heavy load in my tummy will be gone soon. I may have experience less cramps and bloating of feet after I give birth. I may finally wear clothes I like and eat or drink foods that I love. But somehow, I am still saddened for the fact that the nice things about being pregnant will be gone. How I wish it were easy to get pregnant again and enjoy the bright side of being pregnant. But it is not that easy. Back to reality, we have to provide our baby the financial stuff he needs and of course the love of parents that he deserve. And with that, we are just starting to learn yet when he comes out
one hot momma!
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