Since I got no time to write new blogs of my personal life as well as my current adventures, I would like you to enjoy bits of stuff I read lately. A quote which famously  quoted and quoted to  ease someone's burden in waiting for that special someone who is he keeps on waiting and trying to win someone’s love; a bit of hilarious and sarcastic/comedic interpretation based on someones profession or attitude:

Original Quote

• If you love someone, Set her free...
• If she comes back, She's yours,
• If she doesn't, She never was....

The New Versions...

Pessimist:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• If she ever comes back, She's yours,
• If she doesn't, As Expected, She never was...

Optimist:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• Don't worry, She will come back

Suspicious:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• If she ever comes back, Ask her why

Impatient:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• If she doesn't come back within one hour, Call her up

Patient:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• If she doesn't come back, Continue to wait until she comes back ...

Playful:

• If you love someone, Set her free ... *
• If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again

* Repeat

C++ Programmer:

• If(you-love(m_she)), m_she.free()
• If(m_she == NULL), m_she= new CShe;

Animal-Rights Activist:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyer:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the
• Second Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...

Bill Gates:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees
• But tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade

Biologist:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• She'll evolve.

Statistician:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• If she loves you, The probability of her coming back is high
• If she doesn't, Your relation was improbable anyway

Schwarzenegger's Fan:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• SHE'LL BE BACK!

HR Specialist:

• If you love someone, Set her free by Offering her VRS and other benefits ...
• Then outsource her

MBA:

• If you love someone, Set her free instantaneously and ...
• Look for others simultaneously

Psychologist:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• If she comes back, Her super-ego is dominant
• If she doesn't come back, Her ID is supreme
• If she doesn't go, She must be crazy

Somnambulist:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• If she comes back, It's a nightmare
• If she doesn't, You must be dreaming

ERP Functional Expert:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• If she comes back, Map her into your system
• If she doesn't, Carry out a gap-fit analysis

Finance Expert:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• If she comes back, It's time to look for fresh loans
• If she doesn't, Write her off as an asset gone bad

Marketing Specialist:

• If you love someone, Set her free ...
• If she comes back, She has brand loyalty
• If she doesn't, Reposition the brand in a new market    
• Thanks’ to the original author… though my best friend sent it to me, Id probably thank the one who wrote this one  and give lots of thought. Salamat for the laughs!
•  
  

If women ruled the world!

more on hilariously funny heckle about women but may we (as women) would totally nod along on about 60% of these listed ironies below... again, thanks to my best friend Bhel for passing along... no violent reactions please = )

PMS would be a legitimate defense in court. 

Men would get reputations for sleeping around. 

Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets. 

A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing. 

Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds. 

Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity. 

"Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models. 

Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.  

Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.. 

Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks" 

Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made. 

Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas. 

Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures. 

Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit." 

Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.

Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking. 

Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car. 

All toilet seats would be nailed down. 

Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers. 

TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute. 

All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator 

During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year olds. 

Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly. 

After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot. 

For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year olds for six weeks.

Are You in Love, Lust, or Just Married?

Are you in Love, lust, or just married?  

• LOVE......................when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
• LUST.......................when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
• MARRIAGE............when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care. 
  

• LOVE......................when intercourse is called making love.  
• LUST.......................all other times.
• MARRIAGE............what's intercourse? 
  

• LOVE......................when you argue over how many children to have.
• LUST.......................when you argue over who gets the wet spot. 
• MARRIAGE............when you argue over money.
   

• LOVE......................when you share everything you own.  
• LUST.......................when you think twice about giving your partner bus money or money for any reason.
• MARRIAGE............when the bank owns everything. 
  

• LOVE......................when it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
• LUST.......................when the relationship is over if you don't climax.
• MARRIAGE............what's a climax?
   

• LOVE......................when you phone each other just to say  "Good day".
• LUST.......................when you phone each other just to organize sex. 
• MARRIAGE............when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts.
   

• LOVE......................when you write poems about your partner.
• LUST.......................when all you write is your phone number.
• MARRIAGE............when all you write is checks. 
  

• LOVE......................when you show concern for your partners' feelings.
• LUST.......................when you couldn't give a shit.
• MARRIAGE............when your only concern is what's on TV. 
  

• LOVE......................when your farewell is "I love you darling.."
• LUST.......................when your farewell is "So, same time next week?" 
• MARRIAGE............when your farewell is silent. 
  

• LOVE......................when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
• LUST.......................when you only ever see each other in the bedroom.
• MARRIAGE............when you never see each other awake. 
  

• LOVE......................when your heart flutters every time you see them.
• LUST.......................when your groin or privates twitches every time you see them.
• MARRIAGE............when your wallet empties everytime you see them.
   
    
• LOVE......................when nobody else matters.
• LUST.......................when nobody else knows.
• MARRIAGE............when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows. 
  

• LOVE......................when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel. 
• LUST.......................when it's just the same mushy old shit.
• MARRIAGE............when you never listen to music.
  
   
• LOVE......................when breaking up is something you try not to think about.
• LUST.......................when staying together is something you try not to think about.
• MARRIAGE............when just getting through today is your only thought.
   

• LOVE......................when you're interested in everything your partner does.  
• LUST.......................when you're only interested in one thing.   
• MARRIAGE............when you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you're interested in is your sports score.    
  

Remember, this is a joke.  You can still be in love and with lust in marriage.

Again, salamat bhel sa email na'to.. Author Unknown daw po hehehe

Men and Women Differences II

another ironic and humorous differences about men and women, aside from how yo spell the "M-E-N"  and "W-O-M-E-N"; women takes the spelling of a men, even longer than "Men", lol....

Making a Woman Happy vs Making a Man Happy
How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy- a man only needs to be:

• a friend
• a companion
• a lover
• a brother
• a father
• a master
• a mentor
• a chef
• an electrician
• a carpenter
• a plumber
• a mechanic
• a decorator
• a stylist
• a sexologist
• a gynecologist
• a psychologist
• a pest exterminator
• a psychiatrist
• a healer
• a good listener
• a smooth talker
• an organizer
• a good father
• very clean
• sympathetic
• athletic
• warm
• attentive
• gallant
• intelligent
• funny
• creative
• tender
• strong
• understanding
• tolerant
• prudent
• ambitious
• capable
• courageous
• determined
• true
• dependable
• passionate
• compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

• give her compliments regularly
• love shopping
• be honest
• be very rich
• not stress her out
• not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, THE MAN MUST ALSO:

• give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
• give her lots of time, especially time for herself
• give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: Never to forget:

• * birthdays
• * anniversaries
• * arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

• Show up naked
• Bring food and drink

Men & Women Differences

Here's another funny story about differences of men and women:

MONEY

• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need because it's on sale.

BATHROOM

• A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from a hotel.
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 481. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS

• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

NAMES

• If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
• If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will very likely affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy

EATING OUT

• When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom are more likely to each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50.None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.
• When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

CATS

•  Women love cats.
• Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife

SUCCESS

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP

• A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
•  A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
   

OFFSPRING

• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
   

FINAL THOUGHT

• Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Again, the author is unknown.  I know the differences have been blown out of proportion, but they are funny and somehow reflect some reality for some people.

thanks bhel for this email = )

Why Men Die First

Another hilarious but a bit factual stuff about men and their women...


Why do men die first?

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries...... but, now we know.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race...you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy.

If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this is exploitation.
If you have aboring repetitive job with low pay.....you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her.....that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you......it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.

If you cry............you're a wimp.
If you don't........you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her......... you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you...... she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's domination.
If SHE asks you.........it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear...... you're a pervert.
If you don't..............you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape..............you're sexist.
If you don't.................you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain.
If you don't................you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers.............you're after something.
If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements........ you're full of yourself.
If you don't....................you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache............she's tired.
If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often.........you're oversexed.
If you don't..........there must be someone else.

Men die first because they want to.

All About Women I

Here's a funny story sent by my best friend Bhel, about Women... Read along...

What is the difference between girls aged: 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68? 

Yes, this is politically incorrect, but hope you appreciate the humor!

 
At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed. 

 
At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed. 

 
At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed. 

 
At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed. 

 
At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story. 

 
At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!! 

Movie Review: The Illusionist

2006's movie "The Illusionist"

Last night, I was dead bored; I tried browsing through our laptops' folders. I thought of watching few past episodes of Glee (whom Dr. Doogie Houser, MD was a guess actor). Funny, I never remembered the actors name name who played Dr. Houser, but I clearly remembered the show.  As well as those actors from "Wonder Years" and "Ally Mcbeal"; I have known the actors because of what show I first saw them, lol.

1997's Box Office Love story hit, "Titanic"

But as I was half way watching re-runs of Glee, my boredom grew. So I tried opening the file Illusionist. Thinking that the film is a suspense driven film plotted on early century days, (which obviously shows the actors outfit), I have convinced my self that I am prepared to be scared. And   As far as I remembered, the file was in our laptop for a year already but I am not fond of scary movies that I didn't even take a time to open it.  But I did watch it anyway...

All Time Favorite Romantic Movie, "Somewhere in Time"

As the movie started, it didn’t even stimulate my feelings yet. Not until I understood the flow of the story. I never thought, it be a wonderfully, unique and astonishing love story. Not of typical, booing, and irky vampire-human love story like “Twilight”. 

http://www.unm.edu/~popejoy/Press/

The Illusionist is one of the most delicate but wonderfully love tale twist I have ever seen in my life (Of course next to Christopher Reeves and Jan Seymour’s “Somewhere in Time” and Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet) .  If it should have been promoted well same ad exposure to lame teeny buffer movies like Twilight, it must have gained more audiences more than if “Titanic”.

Overrated but lame Vampire Movie "Twilight"

 The characters were perfectly portrayed, Eisenheim’s character was adoringly matches of real magician’s trait (like of real magicians like David Blaine and our local Erik Mana). Jessica Biel whom I fondly recall her teenage years at 7^th Heaven as Pastors 2^nd eldest child, was convincingly portrayed a real royal socialite duchess. Meanwhile,  Paul Giamatti  plausibly rendered an innocent, dignified but intelligent officer as  Police Officer Uhl. On the other hand, Rufus Sewell dignified a villain’s role. The ensemble, story, plot, lights, costumes, and the dialogues were flawlessly presented. I was just a bit confused about the magician and the orange tree which disappeared for no reason. I was so dismayed I wasn’t able to watch it on big screen. 

Famous Modern day Illusionist, David Blaine

 

The Illusionist was wholly and rightly researched and inspired by true accounts in Austrian and European history.  The Characters of Eisenheim and Prince Leopold was inspired by film director Sergei Eisenstein (1898–1948) as the real life first Illusionist (but actually direcor, when film was not yet known), and crown prince Franz Joseph I of Austria.  The crown prince also committed suicide, right after he killed his mistress, which sparked controversy on the late royal empire of Austria. Same tragedy, and media attention ex-General Angelo Reyes suicide and corruption accusations controversy.  

Controversial Suicide of Gen. Angelo Reyes

 In our local dialect, I would say that “The Illusionist” is astig! 

 I’ll rate it  9 out of 10.

pictures from:

The Illusionist @ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Illusionist_%282006_film%29

Twilight @ www.stepheniemeyer.com/twilight.html

Somewhere in Time http://www.movieposter.com/poster/MPW-29497/Somewhere_in_Time.html 

David Blaine http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Blane

Angelo Reyes http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angelo_Reyes 

Titanic http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titanic_%281997_film%29

For those Loveless and Dateless

For those who are dateless this weekend...

by Arce Garcera

If you don't have any plans this Valentines ye, please contact Arce @ 0917 7189058...

He'll be happy to make your Heart's day meaningful = )

Just Another Date

Last week, circumstances have never been a friend to me. I nearly had a nervous break down. I guess it was may be twice or third time in my entire life that I felt so deeply depressed and frustrated. 

Luckily, Dad is supportive of my ordeal at that time. I can’t even recognize from what is right to wrong, can’t distinguish what is reasonable from what was not, can’t think straight for what should be the proper reaction and what not suitable response was, and what must be justifiable reasoning to what is unacceptable. It’s more than a hard day for me. Given, that in line with our family blood; we have history of manic, panic and schizophrenia conditions. Thank God I have a loving husband to understand and care for me. I would suddenly catch from crying spell out of nowhere, even when I am just walking or sitting alone. My office mates could tell that something’s wrong with me. I walk as if I float and was not aware if I bump with someone. 

Dad has always been a hero. He comes to the rescue when in times like these. After his tedious and tiring work; he went to our office and he treated me out for a date. Even without talking, he eased the pain that I felt. We hang out at Robinson’s food court and waited for me to post an FB shout out. Then, after we had dinner, we watched “Season of the Witch”.  Though, I did not fully appreciate the plot as well as the movie spills which how the story goes, it kid of entertained us a bit. We rather watched “Tangled” instead.

Anyway, thanks Dad. It meant a lot when you stayed by my side.

My heart is crushed but it still my spirit is fighting. It's because I have my Dad and Raph by my side.

Mind versus Heart versus Ego

‘These past few days is the most dreaded and depressing days of my life.

Expectations… Once you didn’t meet them, you feel awfully sick.

You lower your standards… and you still weren’t able to get what you expect… you feel so horribly down.

I had a manic depression attack. Yes, I admit it. I honestly say that I am weak. I could not stand feeling defeated and lost. I am used to achieving and receiving recognition and respect that I deserve. But I didn’t receive the treatment that I deserve. It’s so frustrating that I am rapidly losing my value as a professional.

I felt hell… I felt more that blurry yellow… I felt terribly awful… I felt like crying the whole day.. .I felt like loosing my sanity… I felt degraded…

I lost myself for a moment… weep

My Kung Hei Fat Choi Resolution

My Kung Hei Fat Choi Resolution

Well, well, well… 2010 passed.. Welcomes 2011.. Again, another New Year celebration by our Chinese brothers. Last December 31, 2010, before 12Midnight strikes, I wrote the following lists as to my new stuffs to do and to give up this 2011. Though it started with a very long list, but I manage to trim it down to fewer easier ones = )

1.   No soda for all the days of 2011

2.   Do good at my job and whatever task I had committed (but lately, I kind of so depressed with what had happened at work. ‘Tell you about this some other time)

3.   Regular quiet time (so tough to keep this with all the negativity and too much work to do)

4.   Save at least PhP1, 000.00 every month to Rap’s savings account (I hardly can’t save 500 a month, sigh)

5.   Organize dad and Rap’s birthday climb this year

6.   Pay the remaining PhP7, 000.00 we owe from Mamang Nena
7.   At least  2 blogs a week (too hard to keep up with my interest to write and my schedule)

I do hope I can keep up with this list. These resolutions are harder than I thought.

This is Not My Day!

I am earlier than I thought, but it turned out I arrived at exactly 9AM. I am about to punch my time card (for some unreasonable grounds that I am still not allowed to use the finger scanner log-in) when I can’t find my DTR card! It took me about 30 seconds to look for it. An inconsiderate and unorganized co-employee has used my time card slot. Then when I finally found my card and about to punch my DTR, guess what? It’s already 9:01AM! What a day it is. sigh

Another worst situation today, is that I have an inconsiderate office mate. Everyone knows I am in deep shit these past few days; he annoyingly threw me with inconvenient jokes which pushed me to my limits. Patience… I lost you again. Why won’t you stay permanently in my heart, mind and soul? What will I do to have you?